I am a School Warden, and Hear Me Roar

I am just back from looking after some 300+ students in the school hostel. Its only babysitting the students, making sure they do stuff on schedule and hoping nothing bad happens during my time on duty.

What are the bad things that may happen you asked? Children are still children. Accidents during sports. They might fall off the stairs. Brawling rarely happens, but its a possibility. Some students may have high fever in the middle of the night. They might got food poisoning. Unauthorized personals invading the hostels. Or the students decided they wanted to go out of the hostel grounds without permission. The list can be quite long....

There are 7 wardens, all of us are also teachers, three men and four women. Only me and a fellow male teacher live outside the school compound. (I love my house anyway, and do not wish to stay apart long with it). Close proximity to the students will be BAD for a warden's health. There'll be constant knocking on the door, and endless stream of questions from both students and parents during the weekend. From 'when can we go out' to 'can I bring my child out for her grandma's wedding'.

Every wardens has his / her own style. And mine is 'in your face' approach.

If I don't like a student (behavior) I will tell the rest that I hate that particular human being and his associates will also feel the heat. I don't usually sugarcoat my words because I always believe honesty is the best policy.

Some may wonder in shock, WTH are you posing as a teacher then? From my 14 years experience, my observation of human (student) nature is; they will never change in school. A good student may improve, but an average or the bad ones may continue being so for the rest of the year. I am talking in behavioral terms, not academic. A tardy boy will continue being late, and a hardworking girl will continue creating great diagrams in her homework.

So what kind of children do you have?

The best way to change children's mind for the better is by telling them why they must do so, making them UNDERSTAND what will happen if they fail. Yes, talk to them to nail in the facts, properly.

This may prove very hard because usually peer pressure will destroy this holy task of yours.

So I always turns to BLACKMAILING instead. The next best thing.

You don't do what I ask, I will never look at your face again. You will make 5 copy of this correction paper if you fail my test. You will stand the entire hour in my class if you are late. You will acknowledge yourself as an idiot if you fail to answer me, even after I told you to read. You will sit in the middle of the corridor if you fail to hand in your work etc etc.

Harsh. (Not very) brutal. But it works. I don't do much shouting anymore when I found out that the results will be much the same without any screaming. Now I aim for their ego.

Anyway, picture time!

I used my younger prefects to set up the hall for yesterday's ceremony. These students work directly under me and know what will happen if I don't get my way. So everything went fast and smoothly. If I use the average students instead, sharp and abusive words may have to be expressed to have the job done. (They will play... oh how they play....)
Oh and this was about 930 in the evening....

The next day, when all of them are in school prefects uniform. I didn't have to tell them twice (now that's a teacher's wet dream). You girls sweep and you boys pick up the pigeons' feathers (our school is infested with these flying vermin). Observe and Obey, my personal motto.

You just cannot win the war by playing nice. The Dark Side of the Force can have things done too :)

Of Lollipop and Domestic Violence

Last night my new best friend called and asked if I can accompany him to meet his friend who lives in the city. It seemed that his friend, a girl of younger age was hysterical over the phone, asking him to come and help her at home. As I got nothing better to do, I just tagged along.

During the drive, my friend told me that the girl is living together with her older boyfriend (he got a punitive jab at the ribs for associating with scandalous people). And that night she and her lover finally take their differences to the extreme - a real slug fest + wrestlemania. I didn't believe my friend's story, naturally.

So we arrived at the girl's house, and my friend's female friend was waiting for us outside. Both of them started to talk animatedly and I got bored like after 5 minutes of the conversation. So I walked to a nearby convenience shop and bought myself a chocolate bar and a huge colourful lollipop. I walked back to join my friend and this stricken girl, with the huge lollipop literally in my mouth (with the stick sticking outside :) ).

Yes, I PURPOSELY did this childish thing. I like to annoy people randomly. (And that happen to be my very first lollipop this year).

Anyway, the violence between the lovers was valid indeed. When I idly asked her if she had any mark from the fight, she showed her arms and neck, which were bruised and decorated with nail marks too! (Which we didn't notice at first in the gloom).

My friend, the nicer half of us asked the girl to have patience if she still loves her man. Me, the evil half, advised her to go to a clinic and get a medical report, for future use (court, death, police etc). She thought I was making a joke, with the candy stick in my mouth.

I do not wish to dwell on this longer. Because I simply disapprove of unmarried couples living together, no matter how they love each other.

Oh, and we stopped by Pizza Hut on the way back. I just love pepperoni pizza!

The moral of the story; People can start bitchin' around, but some people just don't really care and eat candy instead.

Comments about me (Not because I am vain or anything close. Just curious).

I look at the mirror every morning and I never consider myself good looking, only just average. I have fair skin (from both my mom's and father's family) and shorter than my big hulking brothers. And I am losing weight too, mainly because I eat less than before, and bored with the food displayed before me.

Yesterday my aunt visited and commented that I was thinner than last time she saw me. She knew about the problem with my failed marriage, but that matter is never an excuse for me to eat less. I never exercise and will never start to do so anytime soon. I like my naps and my playtime with PS3 and my ferret.

So this morning as I was taking photographs during the school assembly, a few students (boys and girls) remarked that I looked better than before. Not clothes-wise because I ALWAYS wear shabby and dated shirts. Maybe because of the new hair style I adopt from Rihanna, the long straight tresses in front and short cropped at the rest. And my splash of original whites made it seems like I was highlighting my hair (the Principal almost called me and when realizing they ARE indeed white hair, not coloured, had no comment after).

So not to make anyone envious (much), I combed my hair to the back to avoid comments. And purposely combed it back to the front in class to show - hah, I can have very long hair and you, cannot. It's a little victory, yes, but as long as it makes me happy. :)

Anyway, in this new age for me (31) I was wondering if I can get any more good looking than before? I was drop dead gorgeous in my teens but never realized it until I saw a few pictures of myself. Oh well, if I realized it sooner, I might use my looks and brains to do a lot more damage to this unsuspecting world. Lucky you.

So tell me; How do you think you look? Good, plain or just ugly.

p.s. - I took this picture at 6.20 am this morning. My hair combed to the back. Had this idea of photography after witnessing Iphone owners doing the same in the net.

The Solution Is So Obvious - Just READ!!!

The Government (via the Minister of Education) is asking the people how to improve English among students...

I am so simply flabbergasted. Are people really that foolish? Do we have to invent reasons to be stupid? Are we really blind to the plight of the generation-Z's education?

And as sure as rain THEY would formulate new and outrageously redundant programs for teachers to force knowledge down the throats of unwilling young people. MORE work for teachers, and LESS learning will happen. Is this what we want?

To improve English, heck, any language at all, all we have to do is practice and READ. Talk the talk and read the subject matter. So bloody obvious and it has been done for thousands of years!

My late father said something like this once;"You will never learn unless you fear for your future."

I think it is the WISEST decision to make English a compulsory subject to pass for every major exam. Let the FEAR comes to those bleak hearted and empty minded fools.

Plans For World Domination During Teacher's Day.

Our school, heck, Teacher's Day will be celebrated all across Malaysia only this Monday. I have an evil plan brewing and I hope it will come to full fruitation on that day.

I always get the most presents among teachers, and I never fail achieving that goal every year.

It's so priceless watching the envy on the senior and older teachers.

"I've been teaching in this school for so long but I never had that many," the senior teacher who sat next to me mentioned, looking at the hill of presents on my desk - last year.

And I have a good feeling history will repeat itself.

p.s. - I love getting presents, no matter how cheap. It's the principle. So I am not thinking asking for them is a bad thing, ha ha ha ha ha!   

Of Education and Beer...

I am in the library right now, watching some 30 odd students 'reading' books in front of me. 'Reading' is a strong word, to be precise, most of them are just browsing through the books, with the pages meaningless in their own faces, mainly talking and joking among themselves.

If these children are the future of the country... our future is really bleak indeed. Who are we going to blame next? (If you dare to say blame the teachers, I'd break your neck if you are near me).

Students (brilliant and stupid alike) are really good actors. When at home, they are every parent's dream-child, obeying every whim and holding on every word. 

"Nothing is wrong with my child, he's a real angel." Words so commonly heard by teachers, especially from parents of troubled students in school.

It's human nature. We do change our behavior out of the monitoring eyes of beloved parents. So teachers witnessed the true colours of all children under them; because we are actually considered as 'outsiders'. And when back at home, they don back their angelic masks and pretend everything is right as rain.

Oh I can rant on and on about this... but most of you might say, what the hell? They are only children. Then wait for your own children to materialize, and then join the blind and mute. Don't believe what your children's teachers said. They just love saying bad things about your angelic son and daughter because they got nothing better to do.

Anyway, I met a younger friend of mine in town and we went for supper last night. He expressed that he was in trouble because he got no job and to make matter worse, his bad qualifications hindered his opportunity. I told him;

"Now you regretted your fun-filled schooling days right? I bet you feel bad about skipping class. I know you wish to turn back time.... ya da ya da yada. But really, it is too late for all that."

Most people will never learn until bad things happen.

And he bought a can of beer at a convenience store (I had soy milk, ok!). I was really surprised but never made myself heard (because I believe in freedom of choice). So young, chain-smoking and now a drunk. I did many bad things in life, but I never take alcohol - because I am a classy kind of bad person.

I like to watch people shrivel and die in front of me. Especially if they do it onto themselves. Advice can be dispensed upon asking. It's a free country after all.

    

I Am An Introvert. Seriously. Helping You.

I am and always be an introvert person. My friends and colleagues would not believe it, seeing me beating my wide path everywhere in life and at work. I may look raucious and loud, morbidly funny and ruthless in choices, yet I don't like to be in the limelight. Notoriety is quite ok, but to be popular is out of the question. 

As I taught my students; never attract attention. Trouble will come for you.

I wished to do great many things in life. And unfortunately I cannot achieve those many things because of several reasons; not tall enough, not good looking enough, not enough money and  not having  enough social connections. Ok, ok. Some of my dreams were to be a fantasy author, a film producer, and even an MTV video director. 

For example; after watching a movie or music video, I'd criticize any elements I do not like in the production (usually with a friend so sportingly lending an ear). And I will usually have the improvements playing in the LCD of my head. I try to have this blog as a movie critic's but... heck, you people don't seem to watch as much movie as I do. Oh well.

Back to introvert me. I never wished to be Grand Emperor of the World in my own fantasy realms (in my head). Even in life, I prefer to work for someone else, or behind the curtains. Never put me up as a leader because you will rue that day I grew power hungry :) (My colleagues are beginning to regret their choice of elevating me to Staffroom Committee Member... I am now making myself heard in the staffroom, loudly commenting ON them).

So as my Irish friend, Inky told the world in her blog that she needed help in her writing... I will do my best to help a friend achieve that dreams, when I cannot walk the same path. I am not asking for a single penny (to the chagrin of my evil minions residing in my Tower of Bloodstayne). A thank you and being content of a job well done is ok.

*sniff*   

Let's Go Sunning

Let’s go sunning
It’s so good for you
Let’s go sunning
Beneath the sky of blue
Greet the sun every morn
Feel as free and happy as the day you’re born

Let’s go native
Sun your cares away
Be creative
Learn to live and play
Pretty flowers need the sun
This applies to every one

Life’s worth living
When nature’s giving
Happiness to everyone
So let’s go sunning

Let’s go native
Sun your cares away
Be creative
Learn to live and play

Pretty flowers need the sun
This applies to everyone
Life’s worth living
When nature’s giving
Happiness to everyone
So let’s go sunning

* I have just created a widget for this song. This is a soundtrack from the movie 'Garden of Eden' 1954. Yes, totally retro. But I 1st actually heard the song long ago from a PlayStation 2 game, 'Kill All Humans' where the scenes of chaos and destruction was depicted cheerily by the song. Then I heard it again in another video game, 'Fallout 3' PS3. It was played over and over again and stuck to the mind like a limpet. 

A fellow teacher was asking if anybody knew any songs that are short and simple for the 'An English Song A Week' programme. I might introduce her this song and brain wash the entire school. Ha ha ha ha ha. [Listen to the song. It is indeed a fun and happy song, but oh PLEASE READ THE LYRIC CAREFULLY. You might be surprised.] (Evil laugh)