Tales From The School 1

I was refilling my Parker fountain pen from an inkwell at the common table in the teachers' lounge this morning during a free period.


"That's a shiny pen. Must be expensive. How much you bought it?" a female teacher who was sitting nearby, watching me asked.


"Somewhere below RM 100." I answered curtly as I didn't like this particular older woman. She's a known backstabber. 


"It's a lot of fuss using fountain pens.Young people these days must go with the times. Even I've never seen teachers my age using fountain pens anymore." See? She's ancient, chatty and patronizing the wrong sort of person (i.e. me).


"I like it."


"Bah, I think you just love showing people your expensive stuff and all. You don't fool me."


I just hate this particular bi***. If we were living in darker times, I'd ask her outside for a duel to the death. She just wont let it rest.


"I like it because it reminds me of my DEAD father. He always used fountain pens. You do have a father, don't you?" I said this coldly while screwing the pen together. She did not deserve a glance from me.


That kept her quiet.


My late father was quite a legend in his own right. He was a great teacher in Economic and Literature, and phenomenal in sports. The principals who ever had him will never be willing to part from his service. He was the only male teacher who coached netball in the entire state. Most elderly teachers know him.
Sometimes it galls me because I am his exact opposite, like all his negative energy was channeled into me...
I teach Science.
I hate all kind of sports.
I am not easily friendly with people like him.
The list can go on.


That genetics for you. Sometimes monsters are born among good people.

Testing template 'Penciling' by et

I am trying this new template made by the fabulous et, a fellow blogger from India. I think his Penciling template is wonderful, at least it is more cheerful than the black one I used to have. It is high time to change the look of my blog. 


"A change can do you good" - Sheryl Crow.


This is a custom made template (I hope no one else is using this) and comes with cute smileys! Ok ok, go to his blog and download if you really want it.

Here's some smileys.     :angel   :party

p.s. - to comment, you have to click the number in the conversation bubble on the top right of this entry.

The Legendary Bean

I was browsing through some websites and found a video I've never seen of actor Rowan Atkinson, more famously known as Mr Bean. I love this guy, he's a comic genius - and British too :)

In this video he performed all by himself for a huge audience. His timing with the invisible drums was phenomenal. :P

                     

The Most BORING Country in the World....

The most boring capital city in the world... The people should run away and live in another country. But strangely, it didn't happen.

Malaysia is not a really large, nor rich country. Average is the more adequate word. 54% of the people are the indigenous Malays, 30% Chinese and 16% Indian, at least in the Peninsular (there are several other races, but I am not in the mood to calculate perfect percentage today). Multi-ethnicity. I am not saying we live SO agreeably next to each other, but the bloodshed and bigotry are kept at the very minimum (by force, law and if-you-don't-stop-playing-with-fire-we'll-sue-or-better-still-disown-you).


I am not saying the scenario is bad. I've read from several blogs (including some from this very country) stating that Malaysia is the MOST BORING PLACE ON EARTH (right after Iran). They told the world that stuff people take for granted like consuming alcohol, taking drugs, kissing in public, acquiring the service of a prostitute, gambling etc are taboo in the country. They said people are bored senseless here. They said people are not free and are constantly pinned down by the dictatorship government to obey the rules. They said people are not safe and are constantly living in fear of the Man. They said the government are forcing non-Muslims to be Muslims or suffer the consequences etc etc.


The most boring country on Earth?! Does consuming alcohol and renting sex workers makes you EXCITING and WONDERFUL? Is obeying the law for the good of the society, bad for world peace? Does having a leader who REALLY cares for the wellbeing of his people, eradicating those VERY few who are the real menace to the country, considered a dictatorship? Do we bomb churches and other places of worship? Does the IRS come knocking and persuade you to pay through our noses or die?


I love this country and even though it does have flaws, but as an intelligent being, I am so grateful I was born, raised, live and maybe die here. Too much freedom is BAD for your karma, I like saying this. Living in a free country does not mean you can do anything you want to do.


People has forgotten what 'anarchy' means.


So, if you don't have anything good to say for your own country, go and apply for the citizenship of the country you think is ideal enough to have you. People who have no loyalty should never be allowed to set foot anywhere on the motherland.


It must be reminded that traitors is one of the reason of the many major wars, fall of civilizations, occupations in human history.


I am so loving how they treat traitors in China.... a bullet in the head :)


p.s. - anyway, alcohol and pork CAN still be consumed, but by non-muslims only. NOn-muslims are also allowed to gamble. See? We are not ogres.

Do You Read Books?

I was reading a book I recently bought at the teacher's table in front of the class. (Terry Pratchett's 'Unseen Academicals, I love this author) I gave the class (13 yrs olds) a lot of assignments to keep them quiet as I pursue leisure in government's own time.


"Sir, what are you reading?" the boy right in front of me asked, his pen poised on his exercise book.
"Apparently this is what we call a book."


And I continued reading.


"What is it about?" he asked again after a few minutes. His buddy next to him was also not interested to continue his assignment.
"That's what I'm trying to find out."
"That's a very thick book." (only 540 pages)
"No it is not, I've read thicker books than this."
"Where are the books now? You got many?"
"At home. Yes, Three cupboards."
"Wow. You must be very rich." He noticed the price sticker at the back of the book.
"Nope. I collected them for years. When I was your age, I have no money, so I steal books from richer friends and even the library."
"WOW! Cool!" Now I have a couple of round-eyed boys not doing their assignments.


"Finish the work or I'll kick you in the shins." (I am infamous for this, usually aimed at unaware naughty / noisy boys from behind. Among the reason I love wearing construction boots with steel tips for work).


"I cannot finish reading a book that thick." I was assaulted by the same boy again.
"I am not surprised."
"I would get easily bored and sleepy." 
"That is not the real reason. You are intimidated because this book is in that alien language nobody here speaks - English. Right?" I put down the book.
"Maybe."
"Sir, if you give him a dictionary and force him to read the book, he cannot even finish until the End of Days." the boy next to the chatty one jabbed in.


There was laughter.


But it is quite sad and true. Malaysian society has never risen far from its old nook. Reading is not yet a strong culture here...

UPDATE!!!!!!!! Sex and the Banana Tree. (It's Hot!)

Read the previous entry. I promised a follow up, updates to this scandal that might destroy the immediate future of two seemingly innocent lovers. (Sorry, can't help it). 


So this morning, before the assembly, the Vice Principal of Student Affair told me to get to the boy and start digging the dirt. "Ve must know Everything! Go get him mien Inquisitor!" "Yes, Fuhrer!"


So I called the boy to the torture chamber counseling room, and after shooing out the REAL counselor out of it, I began the interrogation, torturing, questioning the suspect innocent boy.


I always have ways to make people talk, if I put my mind into it. No need thumbscrews or the iron maiden here. My nick name 'Silvertongue' should ring the bell in your head. (Yes yes yes, I may be a bigoted, crazy and arrogant son-of-a-bi***, but to gain confidence in another is quite easy if they heard my voice. And I am quite cute too! Ha ha ha ha).


So as the late Michael Jackson a.k.a. Mikail said before he kicked the bucket; THIS IS IT!


The boy admitted that the girl dragged him into the bushes.
The boy admitted that they were in the state of undress when caught.
The boy admitted every situation described by my (various and reliable) informers who witnessed their inappropriate deeds in and out of school. (Hanky panky, kissing etc) Softcore :P  
He is very sorry. He is SO SORRY. He wouldn't do it again.


But that's not it....


I dropped the bomb at last.... "Tell me, truthfully. Have you ever had sex with the girl?"
And after quite sometime, after gazing into two fathomless dark pools (i.e. my eyes, I took off my spectacles for maximum effect of truth-finding) he said, "Yes."


This is a revelation (when some of you said what's the big deal about it). You see, when they were caught 2 weeks ago, both vehemently denied doing more than hugging and kissing  in that selected grove of banana trees. They were questioned by the primier Discipline teacher (i.e. not me) who is known for her harsher methods. I got better results and the truth by not even rising my voice, in a chat-like way (Take that, ol biddy!)


He got misty eyed then. I asked them how many times you both had it. Twice. Same place? Yes.
Goodness gracious, are you stupid! If I wanna have fun, at least I find a more covered up and safer place than in some errand bushes.


Who took the initiative? The girl. Really, not you? She forced me both times. Oi, this can be called rape. But you were raped by a girl!! The shame. He smiled at this.


Why didn't you push away? He was quiet.


I already know the answer. He might not volunteer for the act, but fun is fun.


As the Malay proverb goes; A crocodile will never turn away a fresh carcass.


more to come soon....


p.s. - I feel like a Gestapo all the time in that room. Slimy and evil. Rest assured people, I never tortured the boy to get my information. He even kissed my hand before he left the room!

Dreams of the Realm I

"Why we must slaughter everybody in that city?" the raven haired boy (Pip) asked a few hours after we left the carnage.


"So we send the message to everyone that nobody can defy the Empire," I answered as the horses approach the crest of yet another green hill. The black smoke and fire can still be seen behind the darkened forest.


"But you don't have to kill EVERYONE. Some might be innocent, in contrast to your belief."


"I think sending the message is the most important idea here. By eliminating everyone, there will be no one in that particular area to stand against us in the future," Emma interjected from upon his horse, Binky, on my right.


Pip sniffed and clutched the pommels of his dual long knives.
"But they might have relatives in other cities an d towns. There would be no end of it!"


Reining Binky as we reach the top of the hill, the fair-haired Emma pointed due east.
"Once, there was a thriving town over there, the men were proud and hardworking. They reared the best cattle this side of the Realm for our capital. But the men began to get ideas above their station, and charged exorbitant prices and refused to pay tax, saying they deserved more for their services. Over there."


"I don't see anything. Only trees." Pip stood on the stirrups to peer into the gloomy dusk.


"My point exactly."


I smiled as we descended the hill.  

Pip and Emma (both boys approx 10 yrs old but cannot age) are fictional characters that have been running inside my head for several years. We had many fantastic adventures together, all on the vast planet of the Realm. I think I should write about some of our adventures :) I try to tone down the savagery and blood for general view.