A Good Cook Is Not An Evil Person (have you heard of this?)

My friend was in the kitchen, and yours truly was busy defeating Indian and Chinese oppressors in Age of Empires III - the computer game (Japanese Samurai Rules!) in the hall, adjacent to the kitchen.


I was back-seat cooking (is there is such term?) as usual - giving orders from afar.


"Make sure you blend the fresh turmeric too."
"But I think the powdered turmeric would be just enough," he said.
"Do as I say, it will taste better - powdered and fresh."
.......
"Put some tamarind inside the pot. Not so much though."
"But I never use tamarind in this dish. I am not using bird's eye chillies, just regular chillies, ok?"
"Just put that sour stuff in the pot, it will taste better, believe me. And good call with the chillies."
"I am putting the coconut milk inside the pot now..."
"Finish the entire carton, we will buy more soon. Don't forget a bit of salt."
.......
"How long do you say we need to boil these crabs?"
"Eight to ten minutes. They are rather small after all." (three sea crabs, almost a kilogram)
"Oh ok. Hey look, they are turning red!"
"I thought you cooked crabs before?"
"Long time ago, and I was assisting my sister."
.......
"Ok it's all ready. Come and let's eat. I have rice ready."
"Ok, wait up." (me reluctantly leaving the massacre of the traitorous East India Company. Paused the game.)
"So what do you think?"
"Hey, you forgot to cut the crabs in halves before putting them in the pot!"
"You never told me that."
"Oh ok, ok. No biggie." I took a bite from the crab innards after some difficulties taking off the top carapace.
.........
"It tastes good, yes?"
"You are pulling my legs. I think I fail to cook it properly."
"Yes it does, try it yourself. You are not a bad cook."
"Thank you." :D
"With your cooking skills and my dominating presence, we can open up a restaurant after I retire."
..........
Yes, that's what we did this long school holiday. Experimental cooking.