Transformers 2 Sucks and My Ferret In Danger

Blackout @ Incinerator (WE LOVE YOU!)

I spit on Michael bay and his cohorts! Who made the script for 'Revenge of the Fallen'? Megatron is the ultimate ruler of the Decepticons and there is no one above him. Yet in the f**king movie, he BOWED to another robot. This is a very huge WTF moment in my life!!

And what's the deal about high-lighting Optimus Prime and Bumblebee only? What happened to characters development? Two and a half hours of sheer bam-bam-boom-arghhh-Optimus-is-dead-and-he-lives-again-and-the-world-is-saved-yet-again-by-Autobots. I call this unfair. The Decepticons were like a gazillion of them against a few rabble of soldiers and Autobots - and they LOST?! Remember the opening scene of Transformers 1? Blackout, the deliciously evil Decepticon helicopter single handedly devastated an ENTIRE army base!! So what the hell happened in the 2nd movie when he died just like a crushed snail?!!

Disappointed is only a mild description of how I felt.

And I was a fool to take my ferret out on an extended walk ('walkies' as Kaos would say it) to 7-11 this evening for ice-cream. People gawked and pointed at US!! Four people I never knew stopped me to ask what animal I am carrying and another two strangers on motorcycles followed me back home! I felt greatly molested! (Kaos was having a ball because he got to taste ice-cream for the first time). And now I have nightmares about my ferret being kidnapped by interested parties. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

On a lighter note, three persons called and expressed their love for me today (not the sexual kind please, just simple adoration). This made my day. :)

Evil Teacher Strikes Again

Parents are allowed to come into class today for the 'Meet the Teachers' programme. This is held twice a year, after the mid term and the final term exams. Parents are briefed about the school's policy and they can ask the teachers about the performance of their children in class.

I am the class teacher of 2 C. There are 14 boys and 15 girls under me and I have their result sheets in my hands. I have a lot of things to say to visiting parents... Let's say today is a good day for revenge.

So the influx of parents started at 9.00 am. There were more parents than I expected, but no matter. I used to stutter when I was young but this grown man has a new nickname - Silvertongue, I can talk my way to people's destruction.

Parents were surprised. Parents were saddened. Parents were angered (not at me). Woe to the students who vexed me in class. I told EVERYTHING to their parents. The laziness. The truancy. The rudeness. And a couple of fathers SLAPPED their precious daughters in front of the entire class, so ashamed of their own spawns. Tears were shed, not that I care.

I've warned them before. Cross me and you'll get what you deserve. I was actually smiling while other people were in shock.

But I was not a complete beast, ok? Good and polite students (I treasure these more than clever students) received glowing praises from me. And the look on their parents' faces were of pride and joy. We talked about the children progress and most parents just agreed whatever advice I recommended for them.

Tomorrow is another schooling day. And after school I'm going to watch 'Transformers 2' with eleven people I work with. :)

Ruining lives (of snobbish students) is a hard but satisfying work. :)

And I've read this quote somewhere by Alfred Hitchcock;

"Revenge is sweet and not fattening." How true.

Words From An Educated Psychopath 6

"I see no reason for you to go out to the toilet during my class. You can go there BEFORE or AFTER Science, but never DURING. The only time you can go out is when you are dead, dying or some teacher calls you out." - Iron rule No 1. To prevent students wasting the time away by primping, combing hair or just talk in the toilet. A major offense for me.

"Your parents do not care about your homework or study. Why I said so? Because of the quality of your work and your attitude. Either you were born stupid or something is wrong at home. So prove me wrong and at least improve a bit in class." - Free lecture to the lazy bums who thinks their parents live forever.

"If you talk to me and I never answer, even better, not looking at you ever in class, that means you are worse than rubbish in my eyes. People turn to rubbish when they never manage to finish my Science homework on time. Life is a stock exchange."

Somebody Asked What Mambang Ultra Means...

'Mambang' refers to the presence or spirit that inhabited a particular place (not a ghost). A 'mambang' is akin to fairies or genies but can never be owned by a person (unlike what you have read in fairy tales). Mambang is believed to originate from the ancient superstitions of the animist Malays.

Ultra = Extreme

So what is Mambang Ultra? (Pick your fav definition)

A) An extremely faerie-like person.

B) A genie trapped in a human body.

C) A very spiritual person.

D) A very different person amongst equal.

E) A really crazy fellow who thinks he's a fairytale character.

What My Pets Told Me

Boss is KING!! - Kaos

Artemis II Kikuraides @ 'Kiki' the female domestic long hair calico cat.

Life is boring and you are not interesting enough for me to come whenever you call. Even though sometimes I come and paw you, it does not mean I totally dig you - I am just plain bored. You only function to feed me and change my litter. You are beneath me and nothing you can do amuses me. Because I am CAT and you shalt obey.

Kaos the sable male ferret (neutered).

Boss is great and me worship Boss! Boss is always interesting and me like to lick Boss! Boss give yummy food and me love walkies! Boss tickle me and me bite Boss! Me cage is bigger than Kiki! Boss clean me poop and pee! Me and Boss hate Kiki! Boss is GREAT!

Rosy the Chilean Rose female tarantula.

.... when are you going to feed me you sadistic mammal?

And the many many tropical fish in the aquarium.

Swim. Swim. Bump (against the glass). Swim. Bump. Bump. Swim. Eat. Eat. Poop.

Words From An Educated Psychopath 5

"My many thanks for those who sent me presents during Teacher's Day. Ten additional marks will be rewarded to these delightful students in this mid year exam. For the rest of youse, remember, EVERY good deed has it rewards." - to the great many protest of unsatisfied students.

"Get ready to be called UNBELIEVABLY stupid by me." - during a Physics class when students failed to remember the concept of the very simple Archimedes' Principle.

Karaoke Shmuckroke.

I went to a karaoke session with some friends and I still hated it.

The only time I held a microphone was when banging it up against the wall for being faulty, for a friend. 

And then I laid back, watching and HEARING the godawful noise coming from both machine and men. I rest my case.

p.s. - Wanted to put on the video of the session here but my friends said they'd scratch my car if I ever did. Spoilsport.

Thanks Whitney. Miracles Do Happen.

I was driving home, hearing some retro songs using my Motorola bluetooth headphones (ok ok I KNOW it was so bloody dangerous) when the song 'Miracle' by Whitney Houston was aired.

This particular song had set an important milestone on the long and winding road of my life. This is the song I heard once, when I was so lonely at boarding school (1992). This is the song that made me buy my first cassette - 'I'm Your Baby Tonight' (her album, which was stolen from me a year after). This is the first love song I ever memorized the lyrics.This is the song that made my strive for better English. This is the song that changed the school's infamous evil nerd into a deceptively more evil, yet (because now he realized that MIRACLES can happen) likeable fellow.

This is a great song. Alas, Whitney Houston is a drug junkie now. Thanks for the 'Miracle' anyway. 

Shattered Marriage And Dream

My relationship with my wife (very soon to be ex) was not a happy one, mainly because of her fault, but I am not going to tell you why. I wanted children of my own but now the dream has gone into the toilet bowl, flushed down the sewer and now bye bye, lost at sea.

Sometimes I think that this is God's heavy sentence upon me - for being such an evil person most of my life. Well... I am not angry with Fate. Just a teeny weenie disappointed.

Life goes on.

It's ironic that I am VERY good with children, especially toddlers, but never had any myself. No matter how brutally (and sometimes destructively) angry I was in class, my students still adore me. 

Some might say I am a lonely fool but I am not so, just severely bored. I read (from great MANY ferret manuals) that a ferret's life is shorten if he is caged and has nothing to stimulating to do. I think the same thing might happen to me, so I usually seek my own amusement. The methods of finding fun will not be enclosed here - mainly for your own peace of mind.

Well, tomorrow I am going to watch 'The Last Vampire' with a couple of friends. The rain of blood and limbs will cheer me up mightily, and the promise of converting somebody to my evil cause is very sweet indeed.

I never said I was nice. So sue me.

The Solution Is So Obvious - Just READ!!!

The Government (via the Minister of Education) is asking the people how to improve English among students...

I am so simply flabbergasted. Are people really that foolish? Do we have to invent reasons to be stupid? Are we really blind to the plight of the generation-Z's education?

And as sure as rain THEY would formulate new and outrageously redundant programs for teachers to force knowledge down the throats of unwilling young people. MORE work for teachers, and LESS learning will happen. Is this what we want?

To improve English, heck, any language at all, all we have to do is practice and READ. Talk the talk and read the subject matter. So bloody obvious and it has been done for thousands of years!

My late father said something like this once;"You will never learn unless you fear for your future."

I think it is the WISEST decision to make English a compulsory subject to pass for every major exam. Let the FEAR comes to those bleak hearted and empty minded fools.

Adventures of Kiki and Kaos 4

"Oi Boss. Why you never let Kiki play outside teh house?" Kaos asked me while we had a little walkie to the gate, with him on a leash.

"That's for her own good. She is unneutered you know."

"What's a nutter? Is dat some kind of diseaze?" Kaos jumping up and down next to the gate.

"Oh you know... *snip!-snip!*"

"Why are you making that noise with moving fingers like dat?"

"Ok ok. Let's say I do not wish to become grandfather yet. So I will not let Kiki meet the many boy-cats outside the house." 

"Oooo you mean if Kiki gets pregnant, and then you kick her out of teh house izzit?"

"Maybe."

"And why me don't see any girl-ferrets around? Me wanna meet lady ferrets!" 

"What for? You lost your balls already."

"Me a nutter?!!! NOOOOO!!!!!"

Viewtiful Virtual Vacation and Mashing Monsters

I stayed at home for four days doing nothing much because I am simply a homebody who waited for interesting things to make me go outside (movies, an urge to eat junk food, loitering around etc). 

I am playing this new video game; Sacred 2 - about a fantasy realm called Ancaria ya da ya da ya da.... no need to bore you guys about the plot. All I wanted to say was the game was so BLOODY beautiful, very much like taking a stroll in a fantasy world filled with fantastic creatures. And of course you can bash those creatures if they come interrupting your walk around the huge land.

I met people, who had limited answers like "Hi!""Good to see you.""You are pretty." etc and the architecture of the towns were believable and so 'olde-worlde'. The forests were alive with animals and the small little details like bursting dandelions and the sound of a merry brook makes me go gaga over the realism.

Yes, I wish to spend my holidays inside a 32-inch flat screen tv. 

Thank goodness for PS3. :)

p.s. - for the record, my character is a Seraphim (good female angel) which is SO NOT me. I prefer to use male characters and do the EVIL campaign first. But seraphims can ride saber tooth tigers. The cool factor there was undisputed.

Erm.... this entry reminds me of the upcoming movie 'Surrogate' starring Bruce Willis. It's about people in virtual reality gadgets, and controlling robots as their own surrogates. Cool. 

I Rarely Loiter Around

Yes, I am someone who don't do crowd browsing and sitting in a cafe and waste the time away. Whenever I go out alone or with friends, I would go to the places I wanted to go, do my things and then go back home straightaway. 

E.g Go buy movie tickets --> Go to book stores to look for interesting books --> Have lunch while waiting for movie --> Do a bit of window shopping --> Watch movie --> Go home.

But this afternoon was different, for the first time in my life, I SERIALLY (is this correct?) loitered around. Yes, continous loitering in several places, doing nothing but drink and look at people. And I found out that is is great fun with good company. :)

We went to the beach and do nothing but look at people and things for a couple of hours. Then to the bus station and inside an A&W outlet, (root beer paid by friends) for another session of crowd browsing. Then to another mall and another fast food outlet, Mary Brown which had swings for sitting places (I REALLY love swings) and stayed there longer, sipping bad tasting carbonated drinks. 

The three of us talked and made jokes so loudly, yet I didn't care. My big fat friend and I were accomplished imitators of people and we amused our third friend with our antics. I took a picture of  my big friend, who took my silver bangle and put it on his ears for a joke. I told him I'd put his picture in the net and he had to pay me a million dollars to get it off.

Ha ha ha! I think I wanna loiter some more this week.

Feeding Deadly Rose

My Chilean Rose tarantula (Grammastola Rosea) @ Rosy molted four days ago. I must admit to neglect her these past few months, maybe because she is just a very quiet pet! (unlike Kiki and Kaos)

I neglected to feed her crickets for 2 months. Yes, a tarantula can live for weeks, even months without food and water. The crickets supply at the nearest aquaria is so erratic, and I couldn't remember how many times I cursed the closed front door!

Anyhow I got a supply of crickets yesterday and dumped six fat insects into Rosy terrarium. And she murdered 2 of the poor crickets in a minute! Must have been SO hungry.

A Chilean Rose tarantula is said to be docile and a great tarantula for starters. I wish to bury my kitchen knife inside those who said so. My Rosy is so bloody violent and her fangs are almost an inch long!

Well, better a caged tarantula than a biting one on your hands....

Hurm... I bet all of my blog readers never had a pet tarantula.

The itsy-bitsy spider
Climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain 
And washed the spider out
Out came the sun
And dried up all the rain
And the itsy-bitsy spider
Climbed up the spout again

My spider is not small and have huge fangs to bite me if I ever order her to climb up a water spout. :(