Adventures of Kiki and Kaos 3

"Oi Kiki, look at me on the cover of teh book Boss read!"

"That's not you. It's another ferret."

"Jealous. Just jealous."

"Would you like me to bury my claws in your back like last time?" Kiki unsheathing her claws for show.

"Bring it on sister! Bring it!" Kaos starts his war-dance.

"Hoy you two! Keep it down or I'll throw you both in jail (cage)."

The Adventures of Kiki and Kaos 2

"Oi Boss! Me cannot get to pummel Kiki with teh leash on-lah" Kaos tugging the leash in futile.

"Why you want to beat her up? She did nothing bad to you," I answered sleepily, it was a rather hot afternoon.

"Stay away from me, you smelly and impolite animal!" hissed Kiki from under the sofa.

"Oi Boss! There she do again. She say me smelly and impolite."

"But you ARE smelly and impolite."

There was a chuckle from under the sofa.

"You hurt my feeling Boss," Kaos laid flat on the carpet, pedalling his body with his hind legs.

"Oh just grow up already you two. And Kiki, you don't smell like a bouquet of roses either."

"That was uncalled for," sniffed the cat from under the sofa.  

Of e-Books and Real Books

Many blogs that I am following now mentioned about books and of course about what to do with them - read. Books come in many types, size and volumes. I love books and most of the books I had during my secondary school were stolen from friends and the library. Ok, I am someone who admits his wrong-doings because it is the manly thing to do. What's wrong to acquire the books nobody read? (or in my friends case, they finished reading and then just put them under their desk).

I read and hear about e-books and free digital books online with envy. I love good books, but I love FREE books better. I have three bookcases full of books (stolen and honestly acquired) at home and there is no more space for new books.

But seriously, a good book is like your best friend. It keeps you company and amuses you.

Erm... I was looking for this particular book; Ferrets For Dummies - which is said to be the best and most popular ferret book in the market. I REALLY want this book.  

But OF COURSE this book cannot be found anywhere in ol Malacca town, heck, even Borders and the great Kinokuniya of KL! I was angry, I was lost, I almost gave up.

And then I remembered my favourite past time a long time ago before I terminated my internet-line service. Downloading video torrents... yes, stealing from the net and then sharing them with the world - ONLINE PIRACY. Well, last night I try searching for this ferret book torrent and voila! There are many of them online, free for the taking - the full version.

It took me less than 5 minutes to download, and I was happily reading the 400 odd pages (using Acrobat) moments later. Why oh why I didn't do this earlier? Silly me.

But I still prefer real books than e-books. You can touch the pages, riffle through it, thumb the pages, smell the paper and even throw it away if it contains crap. It's too much a hassle to scroll the digital pages and change the size view for a comfortable read.

Ok, I pledge never to use the power of internet piracy to download books I don't really want. (You believe me?)

Which do you prefer? Digital or paper? 

Of Communism and Hans Christian Andersen

I was reading the newspaper this morning (Ok ok, I am STILL avoiding tv news) - "Govt Will Not Allow Chin Peng To Return." He is the former Communist Party of Malaya leader, and was considered a great threat to the country during the Emergency 1948 - 1981. Mr ex-Communist was deported out of Malaysia several years ago and now some idiot of a politician is trying to bring him back because "he no longer posed a threat and as such the government should consider allowing him to return on humanitarian grounds".

I call that a tasteless sort of joke. This man and his minions had killed so many people during their insurgence, terrorized the country and that successfully put himself into the darkest annals of Malaysian history. Why suddenly you want to come back after the long exile? Feeling old and suddenly missing the Motherland? Go and bite the dust Chin Peng!

Personally, communism IS NOT really a bad idea from what I have read (before and now). 

"Communism in the Marxian (1848) sense refers to a classless, stateless and oppression-free society where decisions on what to produce and what policies to pursue are made democratically, allowing every member of society to participate in the decision-making process in both the political and economic spheres of life." - Wikipedia   [See what I mean?]

UNFORTUNATELY, people drifted from this pure ideology of communism, and only a select few dictates the fate of the majority, which is very very bad decision. Hurm, I will not pursue this topic further or some might get the idea that I am supporting communism in this fair country.

Anyway, I finished reading a fairy tales book by Christian Anderson (the unabridged edition). Long ago I read about the Brothers Grimm, they collected folk tales from the German people and compiled them in a book. Most of the stories are not suitable for younger children - all about blood, death, deceit and evil plots. My fav author also mentioned in one of his books that fairy tales were indeed about 'blood (violence) and sex'. This is VERY true. So please slap yourself in the face and read the original fairy tales, not the short and revised versions for children under 5.

When a hero fell in love with a beautiful girl he met somewhere in the woods - Isn't that about lust-at-first-sight @ sex? How can a mermaid have sex with a young and handsome prince? So the slut had her fishtail exchanged with a pair of legs (sounds like a very bad joke). The SCANDAL! All because of so called-love (not)!

We have read the many abuse Cinderella ('Ashputtel' in original German) endured because she was meek and timid - violence. How about Jack who felled the beanstalk, the bloody thief who just added murder (of the poor giant) and environment destruction (the beanstalk) to his credo? Jack is a TERRORIST, people!!

Don't tell me you enjoyed reading about his adventures (in the land above the clouds, via magic beanstalk) and actually thought of his theft of the golden harp and the hen that laid golden eggs as righteous!! PLEASE feel sorry for the big and ugly giant who fell to his death because of this evil and VIOLENT kid. Big and ugly does not mean you are evil. *snif*

I hope this short entry can open up your mind to the truths about fairytales.    

p.s.

- I pity Sauron from 'Lord of the Rings', he had waited hundreds of years for his ring, which was stolen-by-force from him. Tch tch tch. And you wonder why I want the Shire to burn? :) Oh and I hope I am not offending anyone with this post. Just trying a new spectrum of writing here.

                                                          The horny little bi**h of the sea.

The Sunset and The Chick Magnet

Yesterday evening I went to the beach with a friend to watch the sunset. Haven't been to the beach for quite some time and it was rather peaceful there, although a bit crowded.  Many people who attended the beach were actually patrons to the many seafood restaurants nearby. I was not in any mood for a meal,  even though I love fish very much.

And I bought Kaos along, looking very handsome with his leash. :) Many young people, especially girls approached us and vexing me by asking the same question; "Is that an otter?" People! Surely you have seen otters on the tv, though ferrets and otters are indeed cousins. Oh the price of fame to be paid by having a rare pet (I only knew 3 other ferret masters in Malacca).

While letting Kaos dig the sand to his heart content, my friend and I spent the time chatting, while waiting for the sun to set. It was not going to be a spectacular blood red phenomena (I was hoping) because the weather was indeed rather fair that evening. Well, to the sea to watch the sunset I went, and a sunset I will watch.

The sun looked like a huge yellow pearl, or some expensive bead, or even maybe a Dragonball :) See what I mean about the weather? Not even a cloud in the sky! It was an enjoyable and peaceful visit. Kaos was happy to be at the beach for the first time and I was happy to get some photos for my blog, Flickr and forums.

Oh, and we had lai-chee kang ABC after that. Fantastic taste. (Too dark for a picture)

Words From An Educated Psychopath 4

"Nope, it's too late now. Heaven's Door was closed last week." - when they hear the rumour that I will give extra marks to those who gave presents during Teacher's Day and want to give me more gifts now. 

"Yes I can finish this today, but will take you till the End of Days with your wonderful grip of the language." - when asked by a student if I was able to finish a very thick book I stole from the library.

Adventures of Kiki and Kaos 1

"Oi Boss. How come you got me in this harness and not teh durn cat?" my ferret Pandemonium @ Pandy asked me while I was busy electrocuting myself on the couch (for health sake). "Do you love her more than me, ah?!"

"Nope."

"Then why?" jinggling his bell on the harness by jumping up and down.

"Because I am not a destructive animal like you, and plus, I am litter trained," murmured Kiki from under a couch.

"Oi it's only a bit of poo! Not like teh Boss cannot clean up after me, eh? And have you thunk me a new name yet? You promised me you know," those cute ferretty eyes boring into mine.

"How about Kaos? The original Fifth Horsemen. He left before they became famous and got the Apocalypse gig. Very few people knew about this."

"Wow. Me like teh name very much. Oi Kiki, now you call me Kaos, ok?" the ferret-formerly-known-as-Pandemonium addressed the couch.

"Whateveeeeer."

My ferret Kaos being curious all over my stuff. He is a blur!

The 2nd Night at The Museum and The Things that Can Make You Puke

How nice it is to be a popular teacher... Erm yesterday a couple of last year students asked me out on a movie-and-dinner-date (ok ok, both are boys) to celebrate the belated Teacher's Day (I still have a few presents on my desk from slow-coaches). We went to watch 'Night at The Museum 2'.

I wanted to watch 'Aliens Vs Monsters' at first but the show was only at midnight and as an (grudgingly) understanding person, I settled for second best - Museum. (I watched X-Men, Star Trek, Push, and Angels & Demons already).

Let's see... the movie was ok. Bigger than ever, with new casts and more action. It would draw chuckles and grins but never out-loud laughs. I fondly remembers the banter between Kahmunrah (Hank Azaria) and Ben Stiller regarding hostage exchange - its a classic playground quarrel. :) And what's so terrible about Ivan? He said he was actually Ivan the 'Awesome'. Mwa ha ha ha!

But really. They can do even better than this. I'm not rushing to buy a dvd of this, meaning it's not a memorable movie to share with my grandchildren. Ha!

Anyway after the movie we went to the Chicken Rice Shop for dinner. It was rather cute to see my students excusing themself 'to do something' before entering the eatery. I knew they wanted to go to the ATM and furiously culculating the cost after looking at the menu. *Evil grin*

So we had our dinner with me GRACIOUSLY not ordering extravagantly, even though I obviously not going to pay for anything. And here it comes lads...

I found a very long strand of hair in my fav dish - kailan in oyster sauce. We sent it back for a new plate. Oh and wait.... my student found a rather large ant in his ice-lemon tea drink. We also sent this back with the waiter apologizing profusely. And all bad things must come in threes.... My OTHER student found an eyelash on his plate while he was almost finished.

Wow. I am not a fussy eater but I imagine some people just cannot tolerate these abuses. I remembered being a health-inspector during my practical - and I personally closed several eating shops MERCILESSLY because of their bad hygiene (and maybe I was a brutal bugger). Well, it's something to remember and as a cutting repartee before departing to the cashier - "You guys must have some hairfall disease in the kitchen to serve us such delicacy. Don't do this again. Some people can use this to sue you."

Hope you guys have a swell weekend - free of any hair in your meals.

The 'hairy' meal finished. See? Waste not, want not.

Mount Presents Revisited.

Get ready because I am going to gloat all over again! Yes, this is the picture of my presents for Teacher's Day last Monday, which I brought home today.

They filled the whole couch! And to make bragging more painful for youse people, I took the picture using my Sony-H3 digital camera. So the photo should be EXTRA clear for your envious viewing pleasure.

Will open them around 10 pm. Wanna have dinner. Gloating is heavy work indeed :) 

Kill Me If They Can. Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Oh-kay. I am defying the ban they set on me, not to put their pretty faces on the net for the whole wide world to oogle. Mwa ha ha ha ha. I just don't care.

For your info, yours truly IS not in this photograph because he was the one  holding the camera. Furthermore, I was the only one not wearing red during Teacher's Day, because that's what I am - someone who swim against the flow.

Words From An Educated Psychopath 3

"Please raise up your hands those who sent me presents yesterday. Well, you made my day. Thank you." - smiling, me. You know the reason.

"Oh PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Stop pretending in front of me. You rarely read my subject." - to my Physics students who were feverishly revising before the exam. 

Due to a corruption of my external memory card, I am unable to snap the pic of my presents using my hand phone. But please wait for it..... 

The Adventures of Kiki and Pandy 1

"Oi, me don like teh name u gave. It got 'Demon' in teh middle," Pandemonium told me as I was filling his food dish.

"But I like that name. A very macho name for a very manly ferret."

"Sheesh youse guys. Nobody in this age is named Pandemonium. It is a name for a place in Hell," Kiki the educated cat yawned behind me. She and Pandy shared kibbles and she hates it.

"See! See! Me don wanna go to hell! Gimme a new name," my ferret nosed the expensive kibble I poured for him.

"Okay. We'll see what I can think of.... would you like your old name back? Lawrence?"

"OH PLEAZEEEEEEEE! Me sound like a sissy civet with a name like that."

"I think I am going to throw up a hairball hearing all this machismo," Kiki left the room.

                                                  Kiki playing dead and bored under the couch.

Mission Accomplished : Mount Presents

Today is Teacher's Day in school. And I arrived in school much later than usual brandishing two digital cameras (my own Sony-H3 and an Ixus) because I am the school un-official photographer. I love taking pictures, and I am VERY good at it (not the pictures taken with my mobile phone though, those are of low quality). I began the morning with taking candid pictures of the teachers all over the school. 

I am sorry. But these old female teachers THREATEN to kill me if I put their pictures in my blog. And they will check frequently. :( *snif* There goes my opportunity to make fun on other's expenses.

Anyhoo (as the Australians would say), the reason for this entry is.... YES, I ACHIEVED A MOUNTAIN OF GIFTS ON MY DESK!!! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! 1 000 x  The secondary objective to make the other teachers green with envy was also successful.

And they accused me of forcing my students to give the presents. Ok, ok, I admit I did the dastardly deed last year. But this year (if you follow my 'Words from An Educated Psychopath') I only ask them what they wanted to give me. It's a huge difference, right?

Ok, enough gloating for now. I have a snippet of my students' 'dikir barat' during the performance for teachers this afternoon. Hope you like them. :) [Sorry for the lousy sound. I was sitting at the very front, on the steps, next to the huge speaker]

Oh, and I will take a photo of my presents tomorrow (if none were stolen).

                                    

Plans For World Domination During Teacher's Day.

Our school, heck, Teacher's Day will be celebrated all across Malaysia only this Monday. I have an evil plan brewing and I hope it will come to full fruitation on that day.

I always get the most presents among teachers, and I never fail achieving that goal every year.

It's so priceless watching the envy on the senior and older teachers.

"I've been teaching in this school for so long but I never had that many," the senior teacher who sat next to me mentioned, looking at the hill of presents on my desk - last year.

And I have a good feeling history will repeat itself.

p.s. - I love getting presents, no matter how cheap. It's the principle. So I am not thinking asking for them is a bad thing, ha ha ha ha ha!   

No Angels, Only Demons and Tom Hanks

After school I went to watch the much awaited 'Angels and Demons' movie adapted from the book of the person who called himself Dan Brown. 

My verdict? It's an a OK film. For you people who had experience both 'The Da Vinci Code' in book and movie, 'Angelina & Brad' ops! 'Angels and Demons' offers the same roller coaster ride of; "Hey look! There's another hint / clue / thing." And then the chase against the clock to get to some location and yes, deja vu; "Hey look! There's another hint / clue / thing."

I am not spoiling the film for you by telling how the plot goes, because it was indeed twisted and rather clever. But hey, as an ardent movie fan, I CAN guess the flow of the story and so many 'I told you so' irked the friend next to me.

The book was set before the event of 'the Da Vinci Code'. But I think 'the Da Vinci Code' is a much better movie than this one. And we gain knowledge what the Vatican City looks like and how a Pope was selected. We are indeed 'Enlightened' = Illuminati. Mwa ha ha ha ha!

p.s. - Don't expect to see any angels or satanic creatures in this movie. But expect demons in human forms.

Oops!

I broke Pandemonium's water bottle as I was moving his cage out for cleaning this afternoon.

And my ferret said,"Why did you do that for?" (so CUTE!!!!)

Sorry sorry sorry 10 000 times. And I stole my cat, Kiki's food and water dispenser and put it into Pandy's cage.

"Hoi! That's MINE!!!" Kiki screamed and hissed her displeasure.

Ok ok, don't lose your fur yet. So I grudgingly took out the big brand new water and food dispenser (I saved for my new house) and put the gadget inside Kiki's cage.

All the while....

"Ooooo... lookie! I have a small swimming pool!" said Pandy, who never had a water dish before.

If he snorkels in there tonight, I'll buy him a proper water bottle tomorrow...

Words From An Educated Psychopath 2

"What are you going to give me next week?" - for Teacher's Day (next Monday). Yes, please be mockingly horrified - I am a teacher who ASKED for his presents (and would even go the extra mile of slashing marks from exams if I don't get what I want). I am evil anyway.

"Did your mother dropped you in the gutter when you are small? And forgot to wash your mouth afterwards?" - to a REALLY stupid, stubborn and bad-mouthing student. I don't normally attack my student's personality that harsh, but when you keep on poking - expect clawmarks from an angry dragon. 

Star Trekking and "15 kg Iam's Premium Cat Food for RM 193!!"

Oh ok I don't need to shout my pet's purchase aloud but it is really a bargain. My cat, Kiki and her distant cousin, Pandemonium (ferret) literally live on kibble, so I say why not buy their food in bulk (ok, a HUGE bulk). And Kiki is copiously shedding her fur and I am afraid she might not be eating right. Anyway, my Pandy has no objection and eat everything I plunk in his bowl. Buying a superior quality food is an investment I can afford. After all, it's for the two lovely furballs who made me happy on a daily basis.

Ok, enough about cat food... I watched Star Trek with a friend today and it wasn't that awesome, just good (meaning you can watch it and do not feel cheated afterwards). I was not a fan of the series but I did watch the previous movies (on Dvds) and this latest film is much much better. Expect a lot of space explosion and warping ships. USS Enterprise is indeed a wonderful ship, eventhough some scenes on the ship were OBVIOUSLY shot in some renovated warehouses. And I never knew the Vulcan, Spock has feelings for women!!

After the movie and a meal of chicken rice broth (because I was still feeling poorly) I visited my friend's home to check on Keru. Yes, Araphone I Kakeru @ Keru, the American Curl cat I gave my friend to take care when Pandemonium (ferret) newly arrived last April. Hope you guys still remember her. And I was mightily surprised to see that former cat of mine.

She was HUGE and BEAUTIFUL!!! I accused my friend for feeding her expensive kibble but my friend said he got not enough money like me (pointedly reminding me about the 15 kg premium cat food in my car boot). "Over my dead body," my friend told me when I expressed the desire to get Keru back. Well, at least I try. And she is even bigger than Kiki now. Look at her.

Glad she found someone who cares for her as well as I do. *sniff*

I am ILL and I am not taking any medicine for it.

I got a bad series of coughing and of course, Mr Sneezing must also come to join us. 

To make matter worse, I keep on drinking iced water... so the cough will never abate. I know it sounds silly, but I am mentally unsound in some ways.

A few idiots ('enlightened' students knew how bad tempered I can be) did the tasteless joke about the pig flu on me - and I slapped their grins off in class, hard. Some people just cannot see the difference between a healthy teacher and a sick-ridden-bad-mood dragon.

Oh well, life would be boring without me.

How often you get sick in a year?

(As for me, RARELY. But if I do, I'd keep being ill for longer time than most. Really) 

p.s. - the girl in the picture is cute. Ha ha ha.

Stolen Pleasure (Literally)

I was writing my teaching report an hour earlier, while wondering what else would I type for an entry tonight. Then the answer was right at my fingertips - my own pen.

Well, I love this particular fountain pen so much. Come to think of it... I am the only one I know of who used a fountain pen in school, heck, anywhere I've been. I use my fountain pen for writing and drawing doodles in boring meetings. I tried using fountain pens to mark students' books but the red ink in the market is unsatisfactory for the job. I am using Scheaffer's black ink - which is much better than Parker's (which is watery, feels cheated).

This particular fountain pen is actually ancient, made from China - HERO 329. The tip is yellowish, and I guess it is of some copper alloy, very different from new fountain pens today, which are tipped with harder metals. So my pen tip is actually smoother, heck - the best fountain pen I have right now. I also have some Parkers, Shaeffers, Allan d'Louis etc but this cheaply made fountain pen is still the best, with consistant ink flow and smooth writing.

The best and most interesting thing about this pen is.... it was STOLEN. And I forgot from whom because the deed was done a long long time ago (7 years ago, I think). I even admit to my students about the origin of the fountain pen (because, they also never seen anyone else using fountain pens). I think fountain pens oozes class. Too bad they are now so out of use, or just extravagantly priced. Most can see fountain pens in use during the signing of official documents ONLY. *sigh*

Are you fond of any particular piece of stationery?

p.s. - tomorrow after school I might visit some older Chinese-owned grocery shops and ask if they do have the same fountain pen I do. This pen was never sold in supermarkets in the first place, and is now considered an antique. I want to find a spare. Good things must come in two.    

Pandemonium in School!

My ferret, Pandy, nosing on my bench in the Physics laboratory. Isn't he 'cuteness overload' personified? :)

Words From An Educated Psychopath

You guys have your own things to brag about everyweek; either in illustrations or the very clever wordplays. I have no time to do sketches, and I am not patient enough to plow with words. So starting from today, I'd just entertain you all with a weekly dose of whatever my students got from me; either bombardments or words of encouragement. (Monday or Tuesday)

"I don't care what your Chemistry and Biology teachers tell you how it should be done. I want it written my way and you can do nothing about it. I am the law in this lab." - of science experiment reports, when students said they wrote differently in Chemistry and Biology. They have to rewrite it -

"No matter how many of you failed or passed with flying colours, my pay is still the same. Better still, my pay is elevated every year. You don't even know if you will ever got a job." - to students who believe they can do harm @ play head-o-logy with me -  

Of Education and Beer...

I am in the library right now, watching some 30 odd students 'reading' books in front of me. 'Reading' is a strong word, to be precise, most of them are just browsing through the books, with the pages meaningless in their own faces, mainly talking and joking among themselves.

If these children are the future of the country... our future is really bleak indeed. Who are we going to blame next? (If you dare to say blame the teachers, I'd break your neck if you are near me).

Students (brilliant and stupid alike) are really good actors. When at home, they are every parent's dream-child, obeying every whim and holding on every word. 

"Nothing is wrong with my child, he's a real angel." Words so commonly heard by teachers, especially from parents of troubled students in school.

It's human nature. We do change our behavior out of the monitoring eyes of beloved parents. So teachers witnessed the true colours of all children under them; because we are actually considered as 'outsiders'. And when back at home, they don back their angelic masks and pretend everything is right as rain.

Oh I can rant on and on about this... but most of you might say, what the hell? They are only children. Then wait for your own children to materialize, and then join the blind and mute. Don't believe what your children's teachers said. They just love saying bad things about your angelic son and daughter because they got nothing better to do.

Anyway, I met a younger friend of mine in town and we went for supper last night. He expressed that he was in trouble because he got no job and to make matter worse, his bad qualifications hindered his opportunity. I told him;

"Now you regretted your fun-filled schooling days right? I bet you feel bad about skipping class. I know you wish to turn back time.... ya da ya da yada. But really, it is too late for all that."

Most people will never learn until bad things happen.

And he bought a can of beer at a convenience store (I had soy milk, ok!). I was really surprised but never made myself heard (because I believe in freedom of choice). So young, chain-smoking and now a drunk. I did many bad things in life, but I never take alcohol - because I am a classy kind of bad person.

I like to watch people shrivel and die in front of me. Especially if they do it onto themselves. Advice can be dispensed upon asking. It's a free country after all.