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You are so nice Teacher.

During two periods classes, there would be a few moments when I stopped teaching and rest for a few minutes.  Teaching uses a lot of 'chi' energy, especially when you are trying to get an idea into 30 plus empty heads. Show me a person who said teaching is the easiest job and I will ask said person to teach Physics, in English, using a laptop computer, with students who will never be interested to open a dictionary for 40 minutes at least, and there will be a test after that. 

Anyway, at a lull this afternoon, some students came up to me to talk. Usually during rest-time, I let them do anything they like as long as they are not too noisy, or I'll just pick up anything (chair, textbooks, stationery or my personal favourite; metal pencil cases) and do target practice.

They fawned around me (like usual). Boys at the front and some girls at the back of the small group (I specifically asked female students not to stand too close to me in any way to avoid scandals or even worse, sexual harrassment suits from disillusioned parents). 

"Teacher sir, you are handsome today." (I encourage young minds to 'kiss butt' very early)
"Well thank you. And what do you want?"
"Can we see your handphone? Your watch?"
"What for? Go and buy your own when you grow up." (I transferred the said items from the table into my pockets).
"No homework today-lah sir. You are so nice."
(Nice? I was rarely nice. Sarcastically funny, yes, but rarely nice. In fact, I just ripped off many pages of their exercise books which I didn't find up to my standards. The torn pages were still on the floor).
"Why you say I am nice? I am not nice." (See? I never admit to people I am nice, yet SOMEBODY in this blogsphere insisted that I ONLY pretend being so).
"We know you are nice-lah sir."
"Go away." (Swatted them away with the wooden metre ruler).

I had taught for six years, and all 'fawning' students said almost the same thing (from Sarawak to Malacca). Am I really nice? Or they misunderstood my evil destructive ways of teaching as nouveau and refreshing? I have shown them how brutal I can be in class (a foot long cane, broken desks and doors, flying chairs) yet I seemed to attract a large gang of followers.

Maybe these students are fascinated in a person they don't understand. Oh well, I will still get the most presents during 'Teacher's Day'.

Yay for misleading the younger generation!

8 comments:

Tenchi said...

You ever watch the japanese drama GTO (Great Teacher Onizuka)...

Shadowthorne said...

I don't watch GTO because it got a lot of love conflicts, suicides and silly gang clashes.

Ultraman is an even better choice for Japanese series for me. :)

Aizan Suhaira said...

My favourite teachers were the ones who are the most brutal. The screaming, the book throwing, the target practice. I loved this kind of teachers.

Because, once you get to know them, they ain't half bad.

Inkpot said...

Oh, I've missed your blog Shadowthorne. It is good to be back reading it.

Teaching is a very tough job. Let anyone disagree and I will beat them to a pulp. Ha! I think your students say you are nice because they are afraid you will pummel them with a chair and then scrape their remains off the floor with a ruler if they say otherwise (and also because you are nice ;))

Oh, and by the way, I like your dancing bear of death. He lulls you in with his sweet songs and then knocks your head off when you aren't looking.

Shadowthorne said...

I TRY not to cause damage to them (much). But if I can get away with it, I'd slice a little bit off their body part to take home whenever they fail to finish homework.

Then cook it with lima beans and had dinner with a glass of Chianti. Oh my goodness!! I sound like Hannibal Lecter!

amirahsyuhada said...

I wondering if one day I really have to read a headline in news paper about you do a damage to your students and then I really have to visit you at a jail. I really glad to have a chance to befriend who is prisoner.

But i think, might be its not a jail but an asylum, yeah..there safer for you, safe from being sodomize, ermm..maybe.

Yes, the choice is yours..

Shadowthorne said...

Amirahsyuhada really loves the word 'SODOMY' so much she used it in conversations with me several times.

She would like to be sodomized I think. Anyone to help her?

Yes, I am telling the whole world to help this poor she-nutcase.

SSQuo said...

You are inherently nice and you try to cover it up with your meanness, that makes you all the more likeable to certain people! :PPP haha.

Often people/kids want to break this barrier, and I guess they see that youre not really that bad, gosh, youre a teacher for goddsakes, that counts for a lot. Teacher=care (well most teachers anyways).

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