X-MEN Origins: Wolverine SUCKS!!

The title said it all. They should've put more budget in cgi-realism. Wolverine's claws looked as fake as plastic. Nuff said cause I am giddy for lack of sleep.

The Real X-Files (Because Inky Asked Me To Tell)

I never met a real ghost, evil spirits or any type of friendly poltergeist (or not). But I had experienced two unexplained phenomena when I was like 9 or 10 years old, in my primary school compound, a long long time ago. But those memories will never fade, because they are authentic paranormal activities. 

1. The Brownish Flying Thing

My mom was a library teacher in the same school I attended. So she would spend extra long time in the library after school to do stock checking or whatever librarians did at closing time. I would be left alone amusing myself around school, and I must stress this - ALONE. Nobody in the right mind would loiter around when school is out, right? But I had to, because my mom drove me home.

So one very hot afternoon, I was walking around the deserted classroom block and found a broomstick lying against the wall by a corner. I gave the broom a kick and walked around the corner to get to the library. As I was walking and feeling so sorry about myself (because I was so damn bored) something flew from behind, went past me and zoomed at incredible angle at the far corner of the building - out of sight.

Immediately I gave chase because, even at a very young age, I was a rabid monster and loved to catch and torture birds. I went around the building twice, and - zoom! There it was again, flying so fast from behind and turned at the other corner of the building. I was angry because this huge long and brown bird seemed like to mock me, by flying so close - it almost touched me. I kept on running to catch that damn animal.

I was sweating and panting when I gave up chasing the accursed flying creature. Then I realized that I was standing at the same spot I kicked the broomstick off the wall. The broomstick wasn't there anymore...  And it occured to me that the flying thing I was chasing was too long and too big to be a mere bird. I told my mother about it and she said I was storytelling. Erm...  

2.  The Red Beyond The Fence

The second incidence happened at the school field, very late in the afternoon, at the end of our Sports Day. I was cute, with Damien-like haircut and was dreadfully bored at the edge of the field because I HATED sport (and still am). My friends and teachers were having a good time shouting and screaming at a football match which I never bother which team vs which team.

So I walked to the wire fence at the end of the school's field and peered into the gloom. At that time, there were still huge rubber trees with dense bushes underneath growing beyond the fence. In the dim light, I saw crude tombstones underneath and among the bushes. I had to look carefully, and there were a lot of them. Nope, I was not afraid of graves if you wonder.

Then something dropped from above and fell in front of me, beyond the fence. A drop of dark red fluid. I wasn't alarmed because I thought maybe some bird was shitting up there. Then, the red liquid began to drop like crazy on the leaves of the bushes in front of me - very convincing, and if I know much better, the special effect was an honour to Grade-A horror movies. (At that age, I never watched any scary movies yet).

This specific rain of red stuff got me frowning and I peered up in to the trees. Nothing. There was nothing in the gloom to be the source. I was thinking that maybe the gardener had pitched some leftover red paint in the bushes... but heck, I know what red paint looked like. And these drops looked like blood... I wasn't screaming or doing sissy things actors do in a scary movie, ok!

A friend shouted my name, asking me to walk back with him. I left the fence, walked to my mom's car and as usual, not telling her about it.

But the next day I asked an older Chinese male teacher who had a shine on me (ultimate teacher's pet, remember?) about the tombstones in the bushes, beyond the fence. He said that the graves belonged to British and Japanese soldiers who fought a battle at the very site, way before Independence. Grave sharing - gosh!

Now the tombstones are no more, and two flats for teachers are now in place.

So folks, there you have it, two real paranormal events I experienced myself. Please do not insult your own intelligence by asking; hey, wasn't ghosts supposed to go out at night? A real occultist will tell you that spirits are more prone to roam during extreme hours of the day, like twilight, dusk and 12 o'clock in the afternoon. Midnight is actually quite safe!

Now Inky, tell me what you have seen that is out of this world.

p.s. - some of you might not believe me. But seriously, I was fearless as a child. The only things I was scared of were shiny sharp objects and my father.

Let's Do Devastation in the Court.

I am going to the Court (not a tennis court, ok. A real court of law) today to do great damage to a person's life. Wish me luck. :)

p.s. - and because you asked Inky, I'll do the ghost story telling in my next entry soon. Only for you. :)

Do You Believe in The Occult? (Read at Your Own Peril)

I am just back from meeting an Indonesian shaman who lives near the Hang Jebat Stadium. My mom, aunt and a couple of female relatives accompanied me to meet this ordinary looking guy who said he was some great and powerful witch-doctor / shaman / miracle-man.

Yes, I have a big and evil demon inside me. And they had been unsuccessful to remove him.

I do believe in the paranormal because I had witnessed two unexplained phenomena myself. But I will only tell you if you wish to know about them. I do not like to seem like a crazy person who make things up.

Back to the darkness within... I was never afraid of the dark. I like the dark and I do have my classes in poor light, to the protest of many students who wished the lights to be switched on. I was born bad and had to act my way through life to be accepted. Only my late father knew about the true me, but it was way too late, because shortly then, he passed away.

Anyway back to this shaman guy who said pretty much convincing things, saying excerps from the Holy K0ran to make his points. His home was small and stuffy, and it got worse when he smoked in that windowless hut. My aunts kept asking him various questions; mostly about remedies to so many ailments. He answered by giving the recipes most commonly found in the folks medicine tomes. I am not impressed.

Then, he asked me to cleanse myself by fasting for 3 days. Seriously no food and drinks for 3 straight days! (The usual method of fasting; no eating and drinking from sun-up to sun-down). I almost laughed in his face. It's hard and impossible for me (as I need to drink gargantuan amount of water, it's diabetes insipidus). The guy said, by fasting, I cleanse my body (which is true) and he will be able to insert himself into big wicked me (which I have serious doubts) and drive the horror away.

I studied the guy carefully... and instantly saw something that made my doubts reasonable. Moslem men cannot wear gold, as stated in the Holy Book and Sunnah. This man was wearing a golden necklace under his shirt. So I do not need to heed an order from someone who breaks a religious law. Even I, as bad as you can only imagine, never wear gold.

Tell me what you think. Have you meet these so called holy men before? 

Rockets Rockets All Day Long!

                                
We arrived at the competition place very early, 8.30 am and lazed on the cushions at the planetarium's lobby for half an hour. Twenty five secondary schools were taking part and they promised us that this year's competition will be much faster than last year's because two launchers were being used instead of one.

Erm....

There were two rocket categories for each school; the targetting competition and the parachute competiton. For targetting, each school were allowed to launch their rockets twice to hit an area some 45 metres away (ours were too powerful and went over the target area!). For parachuting; rockets should be able to deploy parachutes and the winner will be the ones with the longest time airborne (great many rockets FAILED to use their parachutes, although ours succeeded in this challenge, but not high enough for me).

The clip above is of my students launching our rocket for the rocket-parachuting competition. 

We Launched Rockets All Day!

I brought my Chilean Rose tarantula, Rosy to school in her terrarium for next week's 'Science & Math Week' exhibition in my Physics lab. I will bring Pandy to school next Tuesday, because the ferret is so attached to me, and there is no way in Hell I'm leaving him alone for the weekend. 

Tomorrow there will be a water rocket launching competition at a local planetarium by the beach. I will be taking 3 students to join the fun and I am not really hoping for victory because, yes, sometimes I don't even care if we won - it's the pessimist in me.

But we had a great time this morning till afternoon, experimenting! We launched water rockets several times in the school field, and I could feel the envy of many students (and even teachers) that we were allowed to have so much fun outside class in full view of others. (Yes, I deliberately wanted them ALL to see. It's a subtle kind of promotion - To play water rocket's, get enrolled in Sir Ramzu's classes).

Well, tomorrow's the big day. I am not hoping to get 1st place, but heck I wish the competition wouldn't be that long. I hate being in the sun too much.

This is Going To Be A Very Tough Week....

I was finishing my Physics class at 12.40 pm when one of the girls said; "Sir, what are we going to do for this afternoon tuition class?"

And I said,"WHAT???!!!"

Bloody hell! I have forgotten about the extended class after school for Fifth Formers. I was hoping to go back earlier and take a nap.

Tomorrow I have a meeting for a rocket launching competition this coming Saturday. Ok ok,  not real ballistic missiles, just water propelled rockets. It's a Physics thing.

I hate meetings. It would take too much time and I will lose my nap, AGAIN!

Next week, we will having our 'Science & Maths Week'. Our Head of Department is asking left and right about the preparation, wanting everything to be ready and perfect. I dislike perfectionist. Such people will not leave room for creativity.

I am in charge of photography, the Physics exhibition and 'The A-Math-Zing Race' (NOT my idea,  I think it sounds silly).

p.s. - Well, at least I returned back and had my late nap finally. Pandy is so cute, I am so glad I have him even though he's messy about pooping! Kiki is toying with a cockroach now. I hope she is not planning to eat the poor insect.

Pandemonium De Ferret!

Wargh ha ha ha ha! So cute! Pretty fat too - 1.2 kg.   :) :) :) :)

The Search Is Over. I Got A Ferret!!!!

Been looking for one for almost 2 and a half years. None was sold in Malacca and the ferrets I saw in KL were either sickly or extravagantly priced (one grand and above). So I amused myself by getting tarantulas, guinea pigs and finally, cats. (Snakes are so slimy and... still. Boring).

So two weeks ago I encountered an adoption advert in Mudah.my and I was pleasantly surprised that the advertisement came from Malacca. I text messaged the person involved and we exchanged messages until I realized that the person and his ferret were in fact in Damansara, more than 200 km away from me. He put the adverts by hoping the ferret will be adopted by somebody from his homestate, when he returns back this Labor's Day, 1st May.

I wanted the ferret. And was very willing to pay the deposit (so he can take the advert off!).

That was two weeks ago.

So yesterday morning, me and my two cronies flew in my Kia to fetch my ferret, two weeks in advance, for reasons I do not wish to bore you with. We visited the place and the friendly couple were nice and we witnessed their love about anything ferret! They even accompany us to my ferret's second vaccination at a local vet clinic.

After saying goodbye to the ferret-wise couple, we visited Ikano Power Centre (ooo I am SO SORRY Aizan! Was thinking of you and your killer pillows as I walked past IKEA). Bought a few ferret stuffs (cannot be found anywhere in Malacca) and after that, immediately zoomed back home.

My ferret is male with sable markings. His name was Lawrence, but I decided to rename him Pandemonium or Pandy for short. This is a really fitting name; he managed to escape his cage the first night at home. Very very playful.

So welcome home Pandy!

p.s. - I gave Araphone I Kakeru to a friend on Wednesday as I cannot cope having three large animals to care. Kiki was a bit sulky, losing Keru - his playmate and was giving me the cold shoulder treatment ever since Keru moved away.

'Sissy' Teachers and Stupid Students.

I was in school this morning, after 3 days absence, attending that STUPID camping program I told you guys about. There are two things I wish to share with you, about the two incidences today, which some might say rather petty, but are really close to my heart.

1st Incidence.

I am usually punctual, arriving on time to the Science lab. I make it a habit to let my students see me walking purposely to the lab, so they know I am waiting and would be rather nasty if they are late (I like to give warnings first, remember?).

As I was walking by the classroom block, I saw a practical teacher entered my students' class, 2E. I continued to the laboratory and after a few minutes of waiting, only a few students arrived.

"Where are the rest of you?"

"They are still in the class sir."

???  "You did see me walking past your class, didn't you?"

"Yes we did. But the other boys and girls said they wanted to be with the relief teacher. They say you are absent today."

[Shadowthorne the Dragon emerged]

"WHAT?!!! Go tell them if they are not here in two minutes, I'll rip them in half," pointing to a student. "And send my regards to that teacher." (in a calmer tone)

 

The rest of the students trooped in. I berated them for 15 minutes, cursing their lack of insight and their tendency to play around, which would lead to a very very bleak future.

But personally; I kind of like it - they fear me.

2nd Incidence.

I was teaching in another class (2C) at 1.20 pm when the Head Department of Language entered and asked my permission to talk to my class. She said one particular male practical teacher was having a bad time teaching the class. She said the teacher reported that the class was always rowdy and difficult to teach. The next time the teacher enters, she would expect cooperation from the students and would call the names of the stubborn ones during assembly.

And then she left.

I was thinking.... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE NEW TEACHERS?! What you expect from students today? To sit calmly and demurely while you teach? Even I, one of the most brutal teachers in the school, got a few things to straightened up before beginning a lesson.

I remembered when I was a practical teacher in 2003, teaching in a lab, next to a basketball court. Imagine the noise and the distraction me and my students had to endure whenever some classes having PE. When my professor monitored me one day (during the same noise-storm from the basket-ball court, complete with the balls banging on the lab's windows!) he mentioned at the end of the class that he had never seen such an iron-fist grip a teacher had over his students in a very difficult situation. I was able to make the students giving their fullest attention to me admist the chaos just outside the lab. I was proud of myself...

So back to the original story. This particular practical teacher is rather cute (it's never wrong to admit another guy is cute, ok?) and he's an Army Cadet instructor! But to be a snitch was the last thing I expect from him. If you cannot face the music (or the students) just wail and go back to your mother!

We need more strong and dedicated teachers - not crybabies!  

I Hate Camping!!

I was forced to join a camping programme. I hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it!!

My late father was a Royal Scout, and met my mother (also a Scout Leader) during a Scouts Jamboree a long time ago. They have 5 children who also LOVES the outdoors except the eldest, ME. I hate it!

I'd pay good money to anyone who would replace me. But unfortunately, everybody hates camping too.

The Things Girls Leave on Their Plates.

I was having my late breakfast (9.20 am, after a class) when I noticed the many leftovers on the canteen's dining table. Today's morning menu was chicken with fried rice and they were rather good. These abandoned food on the plates in front of me were left by teachers - FEMALE teachers to be exact.

My mom always tell me to finish your food, no matter how bad it taste because it is a gift from God. To waste food is being ungrateful, and there is no sense of wasting good food like these. I was thinking of the children in Africa and Palestine who were starving because food were scarce. Pity.

Erm, I am well versed in the female minds, believe it or not. Girls / women are extremely picky eaters (if they food was shop-bought) and would only eat the parts that they like. Even worse when more than two women sit together for a meal... they have to be careful with what they eat in company! Too much food would brand you as greedy, and small portions are posh. And while they eat... they will condemn on the price and the taste.... I just would like to tell them this; go home and cook your own damn meal!

I am not a bigot. Many of my friends are girls and older ladies. I missed my university years when I brought two or three girls along for lunch or dinner. These friends knew me and they were never afraid to eat with gusto with me at the same table. These girls DID finish their plates, and sometimes asked for seconds. 

Erm...

As I entered the staffroom to get my things after the last period, I saw some older female teachers were animatedly discussing something at the common table. One of them pointed and called me to join them.

"Yes?"

"We would like to know something if you don't mind."

"Ask away."

"What do you use on your face? Any expensive facial scrubs? We know you don't use make up."

"I use nothing but water." From their faces, I didn't think they believe me.

But really; I only use water to clean my face. And eat lots of green vegetables, tomatoes, onions and garlic for general health and skin. I took the picture below on my way home (yes, I was driving). Do I feel vain, or do I really look prettier than you? :)

I still have the surnburn from last week's Sports Day. And lookie, lookie, notice the different colour of the eyes. I wore contact lenses this morning; a mismatch of amethyst and grey. Those who stood near enough would notice the difference.

I don't do green or blue. Too pretentious. :)

I Am An Introvert. Seriously. Helping You.

I am and always be an introvert person. My friends and colleagues would not believe it, seeing me beating my wide path everywhere in life and at work. I may look raucious and loud, morbidly funny and ruthless in choices, yet I don't like to be in the limelight. Notoriety is quite ok, but to be popular is out of the question. 

As I taught my students; never attract attention. Trouble will come for you.

I wished to do great many things in life. And unfortunately I cannot achieve those many things because of several reasons; not tall enough, not good looking enough, not enough money and  not having  enough social connections. Ok, ok. Some of my dreams were to be a fantasy author, a film producer, and even an MTV video director. 

For example; after watching a movie or music video, I'd criticize any elements I do not like in the production (usually with a friend so sportingly lending an ear). And I will usually have the improvements playing in the LCD of my head. I try to have this blog as a movie critic's but... heck, you people don't seem to watch as much movie as I do. Oh well.

Back to introvert me. I never wished to be Grand Emperor of the World in my own fantasy realms (in my head). Even in life, I prefer to work for someone else, or behind the curtains. Never put me up as a leader because you will rue that day I grew power hungry :) (My colleagues are beginning to regret their choice of elevating me to Staffroom Committee Member... I am now making myself heard in the staffroom, loudly commenting ON them).

So as my Irish friend, Inky told the world in her blog that she needed help in her writing... I will do my best to help a friend achieve that dreams, when I cannot walk the same path. I am not asking for a single penny (to the chagrin of my evil minions residing in my Tower of Bloodstayne). A thank you and being content of a job well done is ok.

*sniff*   

Chicken Soup Ultima

Ingredients; 300 gram of chicken (with bones), lots of potatoes (because I like them), four forest mushrooms from Tesco, soup powder, garlic (1 bulb), ginger, 1 tbs of chicken essence, 2 1/2 tbs of oyster sauce, salt for taste, 400 ml of water.

1. Fry the chopped ginger and garlic (I used a lot of garlic, loves it) until fragrant.

2. Plop in the chicken and stir fry the lot for a few minutes and add the soup powder then.

3. The mixture now would look like sticky goo, but have no fear, we are far from over. 

4. Add in the rest of the ingredient and let it simmer for 10 minutes if you are a vampire who likes blood in your meal like me, or 25 minutes for mere humans like you. 

It's soup! You cannot get it wrong. Just boil everything up.

p.s. - Garlic is a miracle bulb! Eat a lot of it and you will get sick rarely. Seriously, that's one of my secrets.

My Mom Returns from Mecca

My mom arrived from the airport very early in the morning but decided to return to her late mother's house, some 10 km away from our home. That's my aunt's putty-hued car and my sinister coloured vehicle next to it. (All pictures taken around 6.00 pm)

Kiki on the back of my aunt's car. This is her second visit to the house, traveling inside the new pet carrier I got her. On her first visit, she actually vomited in the older carrier, and I had to bathe her twice to remove the odour.

Kiki yet again. She's so photogenic :) My late grandmother was one traditionalist-style gardener. She just let plants and flowers grow as they like. This would create a wildlife-reservation-like surrounding the old house. My mom seems to share the genes; you would not believe the chaotic plantlife we have around our house. She said it makes her feel just at  home (she means her mother's house - see pic).

See what I mean? The old house got quite a huge grassy lawn and these fruit and coconut trees around it. There used to be huge old trees when I was little, even a small rubber plantation right in front of Granny's house. But those were all gone, cleared away for the wider road construction.

And these are what my mom and brother are up to at Granny's house. My mom, bro, auntie and her husband have their very own goat pen /stable / bungalow / residence (pick your fav) behind the old house. Originally there were four nanny-goats and a huge billy-goat. All Boers, the very huge imported variety. Now there an addition of two kids @ small baby-goats, which were born when my Mom and bro were still in Mecca. My mom and bro are so proud of these smelly animals (they do all the work of getting the grass and food). I have no truck whatsoever with this project, mainly because I hate smelly places. My bro thinks goats are cute. :)

So my Mom got the usual souvenirs for all of us children. Vests, robes, head covers, praying mattreses, dates, water of Zamzam etc etc. And she got me a thing I asked of her a long long time ago - a translation of the Koran in English. Ermmm, because I rarely read in my own language these days other than for the newspapers. 

Repent, o son of mine. :)

Just glad she is back home.   

Are You Against Declawing of Animals?

"Contrary to most people's understanding, declawing consists of amputating not just the claws, but the whole phalanx (up to the joint), including bones, ligaments, and tendons! To remove the claw, the bone, nerve, joint capsule, collateral ligaments, and the extensor and flexor tendons must all be amputated." - www.declawing.com - 

Yes, declawing a cat / dog is actually a series of surgery - it's very painful. It is not like clipping the animal's nails, which can regrow.

I might decide to declaw Araphone I Kakeru @ Keru soon (Kiki doesn't need this, she's as sweet as a cat can be). Keru is still timid, though she let me stroke her now, which she never let a month ago. But whenever I let her out to play with Kiki... her claws, her VERY long claws would dig and scratch my mom's furniture! She also scratched my feet to bleed twice when she tried to escape. A very beautiful, scaredy cat with STRONG and SHARP CLAWS.

Tried to clip her nails... it's like a fish riding a bicycle. Impossible.

So I called a vet office to discuss about the declawing procedure, if they let it happen here in free Malaysia. A woman answered;

"May I know if your clinic do cat's declawing?"

"Oh, yes."

"How much for the procedure?"

"It's free. If you buy stuff or have our service."

(I was actually confused) "Excuse me, I am not talking about clipping the cat's nails. I am talking about the surgery. And it is never free."

(Pause)"Yes it is free."

"No it is not."

"Ok, I think you just better bring the cat here."

I put down the phone immediately. I didn't think I was talking to the doctor, maybe one of her ignorant lackeys.   

Lucky Keru. You escaped my tortures for now. Bwa ha ha ha ha! Imagine having your nails ripped off. Defenseless!!! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!! 

There Are No News Like Bad News

Lately I had been following the news at 8.00 pm because there was nothing else to do when typing my work in the living hall. From the hour long broadcast (including various advertisements) I can assume an average of 20 minutes of news about politics and bad stuffs were shown to the public. Dirty politics, lawsuits, crimes, natural disasters etc. 

All these negative vibes tarnishes the soul.

When I was in Borneo, I never watched the news for 3 years, and I was a happier person. Really. You can call me an ignorant person, but I believe as the good wizard Ridcully of Discworld; if they stopped yelling at you after two minutes, it means there is nothing worth knowing about.

I will try to ignore the news this evening, and tomorrow, and the day after. Ignorance is indeed bliss, maybe because we don't have to carry those bad ideas in our heads.

Tell me if I am wrong. 

Happy 100th Entry!

Hooray! My 100th entry for this blog.

Nothing much worth mentioning, mainly because the things I'd like to mention are too graphic, horrible, thought provoking or somewhat silly. 

At work, many colleagues considered me as odd. Students are baffled with the double personalities. Close friends saw the dark abyss within, and tiptoe carefully around it. Casual encounters would leave people the impression of myself being shallow, arrogant and even hostile.

Love is a battlefield. People get hurt loving. Yet we go through the stages of difficulties, hoping to get to the final bliss, the nirvana, of true love.

Anyway I am going to celebrate my 100th entry by going out and get myself a large cup of ice blended. Maybe with a crony or two. Maybe doing some fun things. Illegal things. Ha ha ha ha.

May the Force be With You Guys. 

 

I Want Wireless Broadband Chop Chop!

Return back from school and stopped by the handphone shop near my house. I decided to try wireless internet connection because.... oh there are a few reasons, and I do not need to bother your pretty heads with them.

I told them I want wireless internet connection. They said can, but the simcards will only be available tomorrow. I said I don't have time to wait and I will bring my business elsewhere. They said, wait, wait up, we shall see what we can do. I said, ok, do your best, because I hate waiting long. They said give them half an hour.

I went back home, had a shower and was about to lol myself to sleep when the telco shop called; we are ready. Pull myself out off bed and drove.

Where is it? Here. I want another colour (modem). Black is so dull (which was untrue, I like black, but the black wireless modem is ugly). Oh ok, how about this white one (taking a new box from under the counter) which is more expensive but I can see you know what you want so we will give you the same price (I just love being pampered while shopping). Oh ok. When can I use this thing?

Immediately.

Music to my ears. :)